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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Doubt and Fear PEACE!

Wow, it has been a REALLY long time since I have written. I have been lacking motivation and just overwhelmed with life.

The last few months have been particularly trying. We are being affected by this lovely economy as are tons of people. Really, we have held on for 3 years now which is absolutely amazing. The way God has provided and that can only be contributed to Him. He has kept us going. Even with me knowing that, I allowed fear and doubt to creep in. God, where will we live? How long will it take us to get back on our feet? Will we sell everything? How will we explain having to move to the kids?

I have cried, literally cried out to God to guide our steps and tell our hearts if we need to go in another direction business wise. It's easy to say I trust God but when He is all I have, can I really trust and be ok?

You know, God doesn't owe me an explanation or have to tell me what His plans our for our future. I started to realize that God isn't concerned with us being comfortable. We have tried to sell our house to no avail. I thought maybe this will be God's way of getting rid of the "things" in our life. ......and I'm OK with that. I have come to terms that God is still God, still in control and regardless of what happens to our business WE WILL BE OK!! Our happiness is not based on where we live, or what we have. To be honest here, in the last year I've really felt guilty about what we do have when there are so many people that need help. What can we sell and then who can we help? I read the book "Radical" by David Platt which is A-Mazing! A gentlemen in the book said that he thought maybe he was crazy for giving so much money away and then he realized that when he died and stood before God he would not hear him say "You should have kept more for yourself". Wow! Really puts things in perspective.

So, over the last 2 months God has calmed my fears with a couple of different verses. During this time I had been seeing feathers in the kitchen, living room, Denson's office, playroom, and in my car. After awhile I started to wonder why and if that meant something. I tried to look up meaning or significance of feathers. I didn't find anything biblical so I just dismissed it. Well, I came across a picture that had Psalms 91:4 on it. THIS is what it says:
Psalms 91:4
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

I could hardly contain the excitement! I needed to read that and probably would not have thought much about it had I not seen all of those feathers. God is just awesome like that!

The other verse I wrote down and have in my kitchen so I can see it multiple times a day. It is:
Psalms 62:5-6 I find rest in God; only he gives me hope. He is my rock and my salvation. He is my defender; I will not be defeated.

All the doubt and fear were taken away and I have peace. AND God is still providing our every need! Christmas time is such a magical time of year. To think about the Saviour of the world being born and all the miraculous things surrounding His life make me beyond grateful that He saved me!

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!