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Monday, April 30, 2012

My maze/path

So last week kicked my booty. I let the stress get to me. I pouted. I was bitter. And who did I think I was hurting? It makes me so angry at myself that I know better and yet do the same thing over and over again. Sunday morning while teaching the 4/5 yr olds they taught me instead. We were doing a maze - the disciples at the bottom and you had to draw a line to Jesus who was in heaven where He has gone to prepare a place for us. Everyone mastered the activity and one little boy said "Can we take the wrong path to Jesus?". I sat there for a minute and I started to ask him why he wanted to do that. Then I thought to myself and then told him "No, you don't want to take the wrong path, trust me, Mrs. Sheila did that and it's not something you want to do.". While he didn't understand what I was saying it really made me think. I know I didn't intentionally take the wrong path. Well I just didn't realize it because I was living for the moment. I wouldn't have volunteered to have my life go the direction it did. The heartache. The loneliness. The bitterness. The selfishness. The lies. But. Without those things I wouldn't be where I am now. Without Jesus I would still be a lost soul searching. I then realized I took the path, the maze, the obstacle that led me to Jesus. Even if it all wasn't pleasant that is my life. I've learned a lot, yet still have lots more to learn. The difference now is that I have a Savior that is faithful. Standing on the promises of God!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Why do the evenings go by so fast? I have so much to do that by the time I start thinking about baths it's nearly 9:00 pm. Being tired doesn't help either. I drink coffee most nights but I can drink a cup and go straight to bed. As a matter of fact, I am dosing off while drinking coffee and writing. Sad I know. Ok, I'll stop boring you. With. Useless. Information. Reese Dean does not hide the fact that he loves all things construction. Love is really putting it lightly. This afternoon we see a truck hauling a big tractor. Reese says "I'm going to be that man one day." Then he says, "well, God might want me to be another man so ill just wait.". I hope that he will keep his childlike faith for a long time!! He is just precious!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Field Trip

So today was the field trip to Montgomery. The bus ride wasn't too bad. Except for having to use the bathroom. I mistakenly had a cup of coffee and a glass of water prior to leaving. Big mistake! It wouldn't have been so bad if I had been the first use it. Instead 5 or 6 boys had used it. While the bus was moving. I'll let you use your imagination as to how that went. After being traumatized by that, someone had an upset tummy and let's just say that smell is still in my nose. Going back to the field trip.....I really did enjoy it. Lots and lots of history! I would love to go back and see everything. The last part of the field trip was my favorite. We go up to the 6th floor to watch a live legislative session. We get up there and there are people everywhere. To be more specific, there were Hispanics at every turn. I don't think I've written about my opinion on the new law pertaining to illegal immigrants so ill just say i think it is awful and I dont agree with it AT ALL! My heart starts racing and it really hit me that we were at the place/building that laws are made. Looking at those people, their children, their families and thinking of the impact the decisions these lawmakers make will have made me emotional. I wanted to hug all of them. I wanted to scream to the top of my lungs what an injustice this was. I did briefly speak to a lady holding her baby and told her I did not support this law. I made eye contact with another and smiled at her. We go in, sit down and start watching what was going on. I was disturbed. I was shocked as each representative got up to give their opinion on things coming up to be voted on and NO ONE was paying attention at all! People talking to each other, on cell phones talking, texting, some on computers. No wonder our government is in the shape its in! You've got a bunch of people that aren't directly affected by this stupid law that appear to not have any compassion voting on the fate of a whole group of people. Unbelievable! I just don't get it. I pray that hearts will be changed and that a different resolution that will help these children of God will be made. Please Lord!

Monday, April 23, 2012

Monday

Where does time go? Really. I feel like we just got home and it's after 9:00 pm! Bailey had a game tonight and after rushing home to get to the field we get a text that the game was cancelled. We were disappointed but happy to be home for the evening.

Tomorrow I will be going on a field trip with Bailey to Montgomery. Should be interesting and a long day!

On a heavier note..... Over the last week I have heard of so much sickness that it is just heartbreaking. A dad of a sweet 7 yr old passed away, a 3 yr old had a kidney removed due to cancer and his great - grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that has spread. All of this in the same week. Join me in praying for complete healing in these situations.

Grateful this earth is just my temporary home!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Where's the wagon?

Well, I have fallen off the blogging wagon and it's nowhere in sight! I am going to make an effort to catch back up. More importantly I am going to work hard on being more intentional in spending time with God, which was the reason for blogging daily. I have let life get in the way and I have a feeling this will be a lifelong struggle. Thank God He hasn't given up on me!

Of course we have been super busy with ball. Bailey is doing great and has hit a couple of home runs! Reese is not real enthused with ball but he managed to get the game ball last week. Now that pumped him up!

Last week was a week of first for Reese. He learned to ride his bike without training wheels, got his first game ball AND he learned how to make tooting noises with his hand and underarm. Yes, I am very proud! The latter of the three -- he had been trying that for a month and finally got it. Since then he does it constantly. Even in the stands at the ball field.

I guess we'll see if I make it tomorrow! Night!

Monday, April 2, 2012

What? Really? Why? Daily questions I ask Reese.

Bailey brings to my attention tonight that a brand new bottle of shampoo is nearly empty. I immediately know what happened to it but decide to ask Reese about it anyway.

Me: Reese, why did you pour the shampoo out tonight?

Reese: I didn't do it tonight.

Me: Really? When did you do it then?

Reese: I did it last night.

At least he was honest. I have got to come up with some creative punishment because obviously nothing I currently do works. Boooooo!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

It's official, I'm a slacker

I thought I was just a few days behind in blogging and I realized tomorrow would have been a week! Boy am I slacking.

I am getting back on track. We got a lot done this weekend even with being at the ballpark. That is a shocker I know. However, I feel like we are back in a routine and feel at home in our house.

I will share a funny story that ended with tears. Well now that I think of it it started with tears too :). So Denson has a deer head that I refuse to let him hang in the living room. He doesn't have an office anymore so he decided to put it Reese's room. Reese was super excited. The deer head was on the floor waiting to be hung. During that time I went in his room to get him ready for a game. I walk in the room and he is hugging the deer and crying. I ask him what's wrong and he says he is so upset that Daddy killed the deer. Well bless his heart he is just like his momma!

I talked to him and got him to quit crying and told him I would carry him to the car. I guess I forgot that he's not a baby anymore. I got almost to the car and stepped on a rock or something and my ankle rolled to the side. I over compensated to the other side and ended up on the ground on my knee. Oh my goodness it hurt! I limped back to the house to not further embarrass myself. Luckily I had on blue jeans but not so lucky for the jeans. My favorite jeans suffered a tear across the knee.

It had been a looking time since I've had a skinned knee and I hope I never have another!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Boundaries

The day after we moved we were really busy unpacking so Reese decided he could do what he wanted. Which was crawling out his window. And attempting to go visit his friend that lives 2 doors down. Except that he went the wrong way. Luckily Bailey got him right before he rang the door bell to our next door neighbor. I just don't know what goes through his mind. I really don't think it ever stops.

Changing the subject now. This last Saturday was our last bible study on James. I was sad to see it come to an end. Part of the last lesson was on boundaries. We were given 4 solid boundaries we shouldn't cross.
1. I can't.
2. Unauthorized danger.
When you try to help someone outside of God's will and despite your good intentions the situation is not good. Don't do it!
3. My help doesn't help.
You can't help someone that doesn't want help. If you want it or are trying harder than the person needing help it's time to walk away.
4. It's wrong.
If someone ask you to lie to cover up their sin, don't do it.

As usual this came at a time that I needed to hear these things. If you haven't read the book Boundaries I highly recommend it. I may read it again soon. I will list one other sentence that resonated with me. "our narcissistic culture makes it easy to twist the concept of boundaries into a practice Jesus didn't teach.".

A to the men!!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

I'm baaaaack!

It has been a looong 2 weeks. We finally got moved and have Internet and TV. I have many stories but will post those later throughout the week.

Of course ball has taken up a ton of our time. Bailey had a tournament last weekend. She hit a home run, which I missed due to the move. Reese had a tournament this weekend and they finished 3rd. He played catcher for 2 games and that was interesting. He liked it but mostly because he was able to entertain the people sitting behind home plate by commentating.

I have a lot on my mind tonight. We went through the things we had in our attic in the old house. I cannot believe the JUNK.....that I moved a total of 3 times! Not again! It really made me think about why I couldn't throw things away. My emotional state during those times. It represented emotional junk that I held onto for SO long. All the junk I've let go of in the last 5 years. If we don't get rid of the junk it makes it really hard to move on. I can understand how people that have emotional junk can't move forward......they are weighed down literally. I can say that because that was me. I still have a tendency to try to hold onto things but seem to recognize the clutter quicker and deal with it. Whew, glad I said it.

I am crashing for the night but will be back tomorrow. Hope everyone has a great Monday!j

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Another Installment brought to you by Reese

I know I said I would be taking a break from the blog for a few days but this was just too good to wait.

The last couple of nights Reese has been sleeping in Bailey floors on a pallet, at his request. So, last night I put them in the bed/pallet and go to bed myself. Never hear a word out of them.

This morning, I turn the light and start waking them up and this is the first thing I see:




Before actually going to sleep Reese decided to draw a brick wall. Of course he had to sign his name to it.


And then, I discovered another word. I asked what the word was and he said he didn't know he just wrote some letters. Great choice of letters Reese! This is the word:


Did I mention our house will be going on the market next week? Looks like I will have more to do this weekend than I thought thanks to my sweet baby boy. Thanks Reese!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Taking off for a few

So I am going to take a few days off from the blog. We are moving this weekend so I have lots to do before Saturday. Along with lots to do around the house Reese has baseball practice Thursday and Bailey has a game. Depending on the outcome of the game will determine when she plays again. If they do well this tournament will last until Monday.

I'm loving ball season and if we can make it through this weekend it should be much easier. Well, less stressful anyway. Hopefully we won't be without Internet for long. Until then, I'll catch you later!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Too much going on!

Well, it is almost 10:30 pm and I'm just now sitting down. Bailey had dance pictures tonight and we didn't get done until after 9:00 pm.

I had planned on getting more things packed since we are moving Saturday. But those plans are out the window along with my sanity. Judges should sentence people to take a kid to have dance pictures made as punishment. I am not kidding.

Quick update on the lizard. The lizard ambulance didn't get him and I know this because Reese dug him up. He told me in a quivering voice that he was still there and the ants were crawling on him :(. It broke my heart and I may have told him something unbiblical like "it's ok, the lizard didn't feel it, his soul is in heaven.". I know thAt isn't true. I just wanted my tender hearted, baby boy to feel better. I will make sure he knows when he's old enough to understand that lizards do not have souls.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Spray paint and lizards

Well, if you were thinking the title has Reese's name on it you are correct.

Saturday Reese was playing outside and Denson came out to get him ready for baseball practice. He didn't answer and then a whiff of paint.
Reese had found a bottle of blue spray paint and decided the sidewalk and retaining wall would look better blue. Awesome! Especially since our house will be on the market next week. Great timing my little sugar cookie!

Baseball practice was about 2hours which is about 1hr 45 minutes too long for Reese. They played a scrimmage game and at one point he was rolling around in the outfield and after hitting the ball WALKED to first base. With his coaches yelling for him to run. I bet they are pumped now.

Sunday, Reese and Bailey caught a lizard. Well I should say tortured a lizard. It actually bit both of them but to the lizards dismay did not deter them. Bailey did talk him into letting the lizard go and when he put it down he was shocked that it ran away. He started crying asking the lizard to please come back. It didn't so he caught again. He loved it so much that it did quit moving. For good. Tears once again. He was devastated.

He calmed down until bed and prayer time. He was just heartbroken. He said maybe the lizard ambulance would come get it. Or maybe God would heal him. I forgot to add that the lizard was buried. I hope he doesn't get dug up tomorrow.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Meet Crim



Reese informed me this morning that I needed to call him Crim from now on. He is a record producer with Spinsicki Records. I had him repeat this information because surely I had not heard him correctly. He told me he got this from Drake and Josh.

He told me this after he dressed himself.....and when I say dressed himself, it may or may not have included a silver sparkly belt that belongs to Bailey. With his shirt tucked in. And a camo phone attached to his pants. We keep it classy around here.
I must add that "Crim" cut his hair last week and I haven't fixed it yet.


I may need to take back what I said last week about Reese having a career in construction or pest control. I think acting may be his thing. At the very least he keeps us entertained!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Random thoughts

1. I am so over American Idol.
2. I love my kids even though they drive me bonkers at times.
3. I love my husband and sometimes don't understand how I got so lucky.
4. I have the best job ever.
5. I have the best coworkers/friends ever.
6. I actually really like to watch softball now.
7. I'm thinking soccer may be more Reese's speed.
8. God is awesome!,
9. I am aware of lots of answered prayer lately and Im always amazed at how He works.
10. I am exhausted which is nothing new.

Now that I've emptied my brain I think I'll go to bed now :)

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Reese Question

After seeing all the pictures of brooms on facebook I decided to give it a try. Well, my broom is a little lopsided so I couldn't get it to balance. I did however manage to get attention from my very observant 5 yr old.

"Momma, what are you doing?"

"Nothing Reese. Just thought I'd try to balance this broom."

Reese tried it too and actually did get it to balance a few more seconds than me. As he put the broom back in the closet he noticed the steam mop. And began asking a bunch of questions about why I don't use it.

Before I give my response I would like to say the steam mop is not a friend to hard wood floors. I thought it would be perfect and make cleaning easier but I was wrong. It left white spots on the floor so now it is a closet decoration.

Back to the story.....to avoid getting into a lengthy explanation I told Reese that I decided not to clean anymore. He got upset and said "Momma, you don't want our house to get infested with cock roaches do you, you have to clean!". He was genuinely upset.

I guess I should learn that what I think is a quick response that won't brinng a lot of questions - usually works out the opposite :)

Monday, March 5, 2012

And I give up on a title

Bailey and her team didn't lose a game during the tournament! Although it was a pre-season tournament I am so proud of all of the girls. They have a really good coach that works hard with them without putting them down. I cannot believe the way some of these coaches talk to these kids. We have been blessed to not have to deal with that.

Saturday was soooo cold. We left our house at 10:45 am and didn't get home until after 5:00 pm. Luckily I left blankets in my car from the fall ( or just haven't cleaned my car out) so I was somewhat prepared. I know in a month I'll be complaining about the heat :)

On a more serious note, God has answered our prayers over the last week. We are still going through a tough time but I know He is working in our situation. I continue to stand amazed!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Win!

Bailey's team will be in a pre-season tournament this weekend. Actually it started tonight......and her team won!! AND she hit the ball! I know, this is softball, that's what she is supposed to do.

Let me back track to last spring, her first season. She was terrified going to bat. She wouldn't even swing. Towards the end of the season she swung the bat a few times. Finally, the last weekend was a tournament and she hit the ball. At the end of the season. I was thrilled.

Then she played fall ball and she got a little moe comfortable swinging. She hit the ball several times and even made a home run. I think I was more excited than she was.

This season she looks like a ball player. First game she came out swinging AND hit the ball. So,so proud of her. I just know this will be a good season for her. This will be Reese's first year but he is catching on pretty quick. Looking forward to the next very busy few months!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Words you don't expect to hear from your 5 yr old

As I've mentioned over and over again, I never know what will come out of Reese's mouth. Tonight he said a word I can't even spell. Thankfull for spell check right now!

I can't remember the sentence now but he said anaphylactic shock. He couldn't tell me what it meant but he said "well Joanna said it when she got into the ants.".

So you may be wondering who Joanna is. Joanna is from a movie called "You Again". It is a bit of a girl movie but he loves it! He has watched it too many times to count. He refers to Joanna a lot and I think he thinks they are the best of friends.

Speaking of friends, he made a new one today. Our church is under construction to add more space right now. As we came in this morning he saw Mr. Bill (superintendent). Wednesdays are show and tell and Reese happened to bring his work gloves to show his friends. He told Mr. Bill that he could borrow his gloves if he needed them. As i walked him back to his class he said he wanted to be like Bill and wondered if he would hire him when he got big.

Later in the day he saw Bill again and told him he liked his boots. I have no doubt that Reese will work in the construction industry or in pest control one day. Whatever he does, he will be really good at it!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Thankful

I am in awe! Without getting too deep into some personal things I have to share an answer to prayer. Last night I had myself a little pity party. I literally cried and prayed about a situation for a while. I felt better and went bed.

This morning I get up and Denson brings up the very thing I struggled with the night before. I almost couldn't listen to him for thinking in my head "Dear Lord you have answered my prayer, within hours! How? Oh my, I just can't believe it!". In true Sheila fashion I of course cried. It was a great morning for both of us, knowing God was obviously at work. I did finally ask if he had read my prayer journal because I thought it was odd that he woke up talking about what I went to bed thinking about. God is awesome like that, no doubt!

A friend told me years ago that there were no coincidences with God. I believed it then and thankful for the reminder today.

Oh, and one last thing. In doing my bible study tonight, Job was referenced. And what is our Pastor preaching on? Job! God has a word for me through Job and James, no question!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Blessed be the Name of the Lord

The title of this post was from yesterday's sermon. Very powerful sermon on Job. The current sermon series is called "Overcoming". Just what I need to hear right now. I have a lot to overcome.

This verse spoke volumes to me - Job 1:21 And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.".

And of course I have a song to reference because, let's face it, that's how I roll. This one is a little more obvious, "Blessed be your name".

Blessed Be Your Name lyrics


Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Beautiful song for sure. But when we are on the road marked with suffering can I truly say it and believe it? Most days I say I can and I am....but I had a moment this evening where I doubted. Then I felt angry for allowing myself to doubt. "God, are you there? Are you really working things out? The peace I feel, is that you or am I crazy? Help me!".

The pity party has come to an end and I'm going to take some advice I give Bailey. "Now Bailey, you need to smile. It's hard to be mad or sad when you are smiling!".

That goes along with one of the points from Sunday: Worship may be our only source of strength when we face extreme suffering.

So tonight I will choose to say "Blessed be the name of the Lord!"

Thursday, February 23, 2012

R & B and Reese

Reese Dean is an absolute mess. I never know what the boy is going to say and where in the world he got it from.

Today, leaving school he says "Momma, when I get big I want to listen to R&B tracks". Well alrighty then. So tonight I asked him what that meant. He said it was a cool party with college kids, Drake & Josh, and TV producers.

I'm not real sure what to think. But I am pretty sure I will need to keep a super tight reign on him when he gets older.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Busy, busy

I guess it's that time of year where life becomes busy again. Bailey will be inducted into the National Honor society Friday and we had to get her a dress. Can you believe the girl doesn't own a dress? I'm telling you she is growing like a weed. She is 10 yrs old and only 4 inches shorter than me. Her foot is a little bigger than mine. She is growing out of clothes so fast!

So tonight I took her shopping for a dress (we actually agreed on everything). Came home, cooked dinner, cleaned the kitchen, washed 2 loads of clothes, bathed Reese, put Reese in bed and finally done. Now is the time I really wish I had some ice cream! I think I kinda deserve it :)

Both kids start ball practice this week. Should be interesting!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Draw near

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:7, 8 ESV)

Today's Beth Moore study on James was on the above verses. This sounds easy enough but it's a lot harder when putting it into practice. And it is impossible without help from God. As a matter of fact I had a conversation with a friend today about things we used to do but don't anymore. God literally took the desire away to do certain things. Could I have stopped on my own? Maybe, but not for long.

I never understood until it happened to me. I drew near to God and He drew near to me, like for real! My eyes were opened and now I want EVERYONE'S eyes to be opened. If only they knew how much better life could be. But they involves submitting yourself to God. Submitting is not a favorable word these days. But when you understand what that means and the freedom that comes with it, you are glad to do it.

I'll end with these 2 points from, you got it, my friend Beth :)

He knows the well- deliberated plan for your life and how all things must fall into place for you to fulfill your destiny. So submit to God.

The devil is trying to steal from you and destroy you and make it look like it was all your idea. So, girlfriend, submit to God.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Normal?

I will say this again and probably 30 more times before the end of the year.....how in the world will I manage to blog daily? What have i gotten myself into??

Today was a pretty uneventful day. Or I'm just so tired that all the craziness is really just normal now. What is normal anyway?

There are lots of changes being made and hopefully more in the near future for us. Maybe one day I will write exactly what all this changing is about but for now will you pray for us?

Hopefully tomorrow will bring a more exciting post :)

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Softball/Baseball Season

Bailey and Reese both tried out for ball Saturday. This will be Bailey's 2nd season and she has improved so much! Can't wait to see how things go.

This will be Reese's first year and I'm a nervous wreck. Even with his mostly out going, big personality, he can still be shy at times. There were tons of kids in his age group and he didn't know anyone when he first got there and he wasn't about to go on the field. Luckily Denson calmed him down and after getting in the dug out to wait his turn he actually started liking it. The coaches will for sure have their work cut out for them. You may want to start praying for him now :).

With the busyness ball brings blogging daily will be a task. I will apologize now for short post that may or may not have any entertaining or useful information. I may end up doing bible study in the car while they are practicing but I am not going to let that fall to the wayside.

Here is to a busy next 3 months!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

He's still working on me...

So I've slacked on blogging the last few days. This week has just been hard. But I've learned some things and plan on making some changes. This makes me think of a song we used to sing when we were kids, "He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be....."

I what to live with no regrets. Stepping out of my comfort zone and loving others regardless of how much it hurts. By that I mean, talking to, helping, and actually caring for those that need it most. The hurting. The broken. The sick. The abused. The forgotten. And you know what? That is going to hurt. It's going to hurt because I can't do those things without involving my heart. It's been easier to just act like I don't see those people. But I always regret that because I really do see them and kick myself for not doing what God is gently pushing me to do.

I've also realized that wisdom from above is in no way, form or fashion harsh. I've heard lots of Christian's and myself included be a little harsh in telling others about the truth. Sometimes we just want to be right that we don't care how we sound. Harshness probably makes people just tune us out.

With that being said, the truth is still the truth whether a person believes it or not. For instance, I can tell you a cop is 2 miles up the road and you shouldn't speed. You can say you don't believe there is a cop and go on your merry way. However, you go speeding by and although you didn't believe there was a cop, the truth is there was and now you are getting a ticket.

Back to the whole wisdom thing. James 3:17 "The wisdom from above is first pure, then peace loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy".

Beth Moore wrote in her study:
Harsh people are never wise people. The may be smart. They may even be right. But they are not what the Bible calls wise.

This James study is some good stuff and like I've said before- James is all up in my business!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

She is gone

I really wish I had some good news to give about my friend Brandi but I don't. She lost her fight with CF this evening. Please pray for her family and friends. Her blog is located down and to the right of this post. It is called how to be a bankgrl.

I am just heartbroken. Days like these make me ask "Why? WHY???". There isn't an answer that will make me feel better and really it's not for us to understand.

Despite her health issues, Brandi lived life to the fullest. She always had a smile on her face. You would never know she was sick. She was smart and worked hard. She could have gotten on disability but that was not who she was. She loved her family dearly. Oh, and she loved her (as she would say) kittehs.

I have repeated this numerous times tonight but I still just can't believe it. Thank you lord this world is not my home!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Heartbroken

I guess that's really not the title you expect to see on Valentine's Day and I really wish it weren't the case. My friend Brandi, who happens to also have a blog and whom I worked with in two different departments at the bank is fighting for her life tonight.

She has cystic fibrosis. She was in the hospital for what she calls a "tune up" and she got worse instead of better. Earlier today she was put on a ventilator and is in critical condition. Please say a prayer for and for her family. Understandably they are having a hard time and not ready to let her go. I really can't believe this is happening. And at the same time I always knew this day would come far to early.

Praying for a miracle!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Season of love!

If there is a season of love, it would be February. And really, this is one those topics that keep coming up for me right now. I know, you're thinking, well duh Valentine's Day is tomorrow. But, I don't recall hearing these things last year or the year before. Maybe I heard them with my ears but not my heart. Very possible.

I realized from my study on Saturday that I should be intentional in being friends with people who I may not particularly like or care for. I should be nice to every person I come in contact with period. I should not judge them or have preconceived ideas of what they are like. Especially not having a fat clue as to what their life has been like. Pretty common sense but I need reminders sometimes.

Sunday's sermon was preached by our Youth Pastor and was called "Hallmarks of Love". It was a great message. Below are a few points from the notes:
The way in which we love others is a hallmark of our relationship with God.

The way in which we love others is a reflection of God's love expressed through the gospel.

The way in which we love others is a result of how we abide in the love of God.

The way in which we love others is empowered by the love of God.

When we realize just how much we are loved, it makes us want to love others. I'm going to work on being better at that!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Nothing to report here

Well, after a much anticipated and talked about trip to see Billy the Exterminator Reese changed his mind!!! We got in the car and he said "Daddy, my tummy feels funny and I just want to go home and ride my four wheeler. I don't want to stand in line.".

Totally caught off guard but it did not hurt my feelings. As a matter of fact we went home and I fell asleep at 8:30. We are such part animals!

Saturday we had a great bible study. I will write about that later as well as the sermon that was preached today. Great, life changing stuff!

And speaking of life changing, I am actually watching the Grammy's. Luckily I have Bailey to tell me who all these cool people are because I have no clue. But I do know who Whitney is and I loved her when I was a kid. Such a talented artist and I am so sad she is no longer here. RIP Whitney, we will always love you!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Billy. The. Exterminator

Reese Dean LOVES reality TV. Of course he doesn't even know what that means. I guess he gets it honest because I love it too!

Back in December he got to meet Troy and Jacob from Swamp People. He was thrilled! Tomorrow night we are going to the World of Wheels and Billy The Exterminator will be there. I just can't let Reese miss out.

Reese can pretty much recite lines from most episodes, he wears a chain on his pants (like Billy), carries around snake tongs and has even been known to cuss a little, just like Billy. The boy is pumped!!

Ive asked him a few times or 100, what he was going to say to Billy. His first response was:
"I'm going to ask Bill why he had a heart attack in that storage building.

I'm not sure he'll even say that but tonight I asked him again. he said "Mom, you've asked me that 1000 times already!". Well, I guess I'm turning into the Mom that asks a question, turns around and immediately forgets what the response was.

Oh well! Hopefully things will go well and i can post pictures later. Good night!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Thankful

I have so many different things going on in my mind right now. Mostly thoughts and concerns for people I know that are hurting. I know that includes so many really all around the world.

I know that in these hard times God is working in a lot of hearts. He is also making things happen that are true miracles. I forget that sometimes. It's easy to get caught up in my circumstance and forget He is in control. But I am still clinging to the truth. Thank God for the many reminders to help me get through the day.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Religious, good or bad?

I'll be honest with you, when I hear the word religious, my thoughts tend to go to the negative side. Before I became a Christ follower I thought of people who went to church every time the doors were open and seemed to have the perfect life and looked down on those that didn't. And if you have a different opinion than them you were "of the devil".

Now that I am on the other side, I hate to say my opinion hasn't changed much. Just the word turns people away and I can't really blame them. In a lot of cases, the religious folk act and do the same things non-religious people do, they just stand behind their religion and say it is ok because they are forgiven. And then we say "Those other people, you know the sinners, well they are going to hell in a hand basket". (best southern fake voice I can do)

But we have put that stigma on the word because we don't live out our religion! We should stand out and instead we blend in.

The Word religious means manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity. Doesn't sound bad does it? Because it isn't. It would be like having a bad experience at a fast food restaurant (maybe that's not so far fetched) and saying all fast food hamburgers are bad based on one experience. That's just not fair. Besides we are all human and have bad days. So if you've had 1 bad experience or even more with religious people don't let that keep you from making the best decision you could ever make by making Jesus Lord of your life. Yeah, I know that sounds religious but He changed my life and I just don't know of a better way to put it :)

Lastly, an insert from today's study on James (Beth Moore).
You make up your mind who you want to be and daily die to the rest. You surrender yourself to living in the tension where you'll always be stretched and often broken. Religion pure and undefiled is grit without the grime. You accept that far easier ways to live exist, but you were born for nothing less.

Monday, February 6, 2012

This study is all up in my business

So week 3's homework has been difficult to digest. But desperately needed.

Day 1 was on James 1:19, My dearly loved brothers, understand this: everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

I need help on this. And the funny thing is this lesson was on Sunday. This is the day of the week I usually have serious attitude issues and lose my patience the quickest. I love the fact that coincidences are not really coincidences but divine appointments. I've had lots of those lately. Those are the good days. The days I feel Him walking by side. Wonderful Savior!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

I have some changin' to do

Well, I guess I need to adjust my posting frequency. I know I said every single day but I think I'm going to have to change it to Sunday thru Thursday. Especially with ball season coming up and the fact that both kids will be playing. Still not sure how that's going to work.

Saturdays study on James was amazing and went right on along with the week I had. It talked about how joy and anguish can coexist. She also gave 2 examples of anguish.
Pain+anxiety=anguish
Suffering+dread=anguish

I think that accurately describes my emotional state right now. But, i know everything will work out according to God's plan.

There are two other points I would like to share.
Mental anguish can be like the mind in labor.

Anguish is meant to lead to a birth.

Don't give up, don't stop believing. Our pain will make us stronger and if we allow it, bring us closer to the God of the universe. I'm praying for a week of focusing on Jesus. A week of seeing Him work in many lives for His glory.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Happy Birthday to my little Ground Hog!

Today is Reese's 5th birthday! Where has the time gone? Bailey was 5 when he was born and it just doesn't seem like either one of them should be 5 and 10.

I made him pancakes for breakfast, which are his favorite. Since he is allergic to eggs he doesn't eat cake so I made cake batter balls. He was so excited but after eating them he really didn't like them. He was so sweet though and told me it was ok, he would just eat the outside of it, which was a candy coating.

We went skating tonight and that didn't go as well as I planned. He was over confident thinking it would be easy but it wasn't. I was over confident thinking I had skated a bunch as a kid and it wouldn't be a big deal. We were both wrong! I busted it right away. I couldn't keep myself up and him too which resulted in a disaster. He still had fun and I'm sure we will do it again.

I did witness a pretty funny parent moment. The song "tootsie roll" came on. That was from back in the day so none of the kids paid attention to it. However, all around the room you could see the mommas dancing or at least moving a little. I have to admit I kinda wanted to break it down :). I guess I should have because my cool points were already in the negative at that point. Oh well, next time, if I can stay on my feet long enough!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I'm seeing a running theme.

Words are not adequate to even begin to tell you what I've been through the last week. My last 2 posts have had the word overcome in them. I really feel the Lord speaking to me through that word.

Today I had another encounter with this word. At work I received info on the next sermon series in order to promote it. When I opened the email and saw it I cried. It is called "Overcoming". That is some powerful stuff!

A friend had me listen to a song by Kari Jobe called "Find You on my knees". If I could write a song right now it would say exactly what she is singing.

But I will find you in the place I'm in, find you when I'm at my end,
Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find you on my knees.

Beautiful song and I will add it to the list of songs you must find and listen to :)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Overcome

So I am totally a fan of Jeremy Camp! I love just about anything he sings and he can sure enough sing. I heard one of his songs today that spoke to me. I have heard it before but today it just hit me. It's called Overcome. The lyrics are good but the music with it is powerful. If you don't know what song this is, please go to YouTube and search for it.

The last week or so it is crazy how certain bible verses have been jumping out at me and I'm seeing and hearing them at different times and different places. I could just cry when that happens.

I am just now realizing that the verse with overcome in it was the exact verse I talked about last night. Coincidence? I think not. It also wasn't a coincidence I heard that song today and it jumped out at me. Craziness!

I can so see the Lord working in my life. We are going through a difficult season right now. Fear and hopelessness keep trying to get in my mind. It makes me so mad when I even think about going there! Neither one of those things are a fruit of the spirit.

I am fully relying on God, the author and perfecter of my faith.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Consider it great joy....

Consider it great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. James 1: 2-3.

Wouldn't it make you feel better if that verse said "Consider it great joy when your kids listen to you?". Or when lose a few pounds? Or when you catch a break?

But it doesn't and actually John 16:33 says    33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

It doesn't say IF you have troubles it says WHEN. I was never promised a cake walk but I am promised that he will never leave nor forsake me. In trying times, that is when I lean on Him and feel the closest to my heavenly father. I can't say I would change anything and give up those valuable times of learning and feeling peace.

There are a lot of people around me that are struggling. Me included. I am praying for healing, restoration and for God's hand to be upon these situations. I am believing in miracles tonight.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Dysfunctional Families

I hear people say, we put the "fun" in dysfunctional family. There is nothing fun about it for sure but sometimes if you don't laugh about it you may just cry constantly. I would anyway.

Pastor Chris preached a great sermon today on that exact topic. I thought I would put the main points below.

God's grace changes hearts; it also changes homes!

Dysfunctional families lack spiritual leadership.

Dysfunctional families are driven by guilt, anger, and codependency.

Husband, what does it mean to love your wife?
Seeking her welfare above your own.
Honoring her in every decision, attitude, and action.
Being considerate in every word or deed.

Christian marriage is a skill to be developed, not a program to be downloaded.

Dysfunctional families are deficient in rules, boundaries, or recognized authority.

Good stuff for sure!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

A little all over the place

So I missed a day of blogging : (. By the time Friday rolls around I am so tired! I think all of us are because we never have a problem getting the kids to bed on Friday nights. I almost blogged a whole month straight.

With today being Saturday, the day started with the 2nd study of James. It was really good and I'm learning a lot. Really I'm learning how much I don't know. But that is ok, I will be learning for the rest of my life.

I will finish with a few Reeseisms.
Me: where did you get those markers, you're not supposed to have markers!
Reese: They are for my coloring book.
Me to Denson: Oh, they will only show up on his special coloring book, the won't show up on anything else.
Reese: Yeah, I tried writing on the wall and it didn't show up.
Busted!

Lately, he will precede a conversation with " I looked it up online......". He will also say "You know what's weird?". Im starting to realize he sounds just like me. Sometimes that's funny and other times it's embarrassing. Little ears are always listening.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Don't quit

I received an email early in the week that had a speech by Dr. Kevin Elko. I'm not familiar with this guy but I really liked what he had to say. It is a little lengthy but well worth the read. Here it is!


Don’t Quit

Sitting at last year's Super Bowl, I realized that the night before, during my motivational talk to the Green Bay Packers, I had omitted an important point. So I sent this text to the Head Coach for his halftime locker room message: Great boxers never try to knock out their opponent. Great boxers just try to get a little cut on their opponent's face and then for the rest of the fight they work the cut. Survive all assaults and keep working the cut.

So at halftime the coach said, "We are up on the Steelers, but they are a strong team. Survive all assaults and keep working the cut." The Steelers did, in fact, come back and started to mount up some steam, but the Packers did what their coach taught them: survived the assault and kept working the cut.

Likewise, effective parents gather momentum with a child, feeling as if their words are being heard and that the child will "turn out" fine; but then come the teenage years. However, the parents need to keep pouring themselves into the child, and usually in more times than not, if the parents keep Working the cut and survive all assaults, something interesting happens. For example, in the story of the prodigal son, we read, “He [the son] came to himself,” a very interesting phrase. The prodigal son did not understand the error of his ways  "outside of himself," but rather he reached inside to the teachings and beliefs that had been placed there by his parents. Parents, survive all assaults and keep working the cut.

A friend running a small business for three years feels that he's in a rut. And his office manager quit because of challenges she was having at home with her son and another employee died of cancer all in the same week. He feels discouraged and wonders if he is getting anywhere. But now is the time is keep punching.

There is a perception that there is something called overnight success; in reality, that success takes about ten years. To all of you creating your dream, realize once you have a dream and start building it, life is not easier but, in fact, harder. Think of the Israelites; as soon as they had a dream of freedom, they got attacked by everybody and anybody. While they were slaves, living someone else’s life, nobody challenged them. So keep working the cut and survive all assaults. You may just have a bad reality of what building a dream is.

The problem here is emotions. We think emotions are important. Emotions tell us to quit, to have an affair, to think life is over, to believe nobody is suffering but you. Emotions lie. Keep doing the right thing, work the cut, and your emotions will catch up with you. I used to love it when people would tell me they love who they are with but are not in love with themselves – emotional hogwash and Hollywood propaganda. This thought is emotions again. Go ahead and make a decision off of your insane emotions and then get ready for your next emotion, regret.

The answer is in Galatians 6:9 and the words of the Apostle Paul, "If you do not grow weary in doing well you will reap in due season if you faint not." If you keep going, survive all assaults and work the cut, you will eventually reap. What if your frustration and fatigue are not a sign that you are getting nowhere but rather a sign that you are getting close, and if you push through the frustration and fatigue, you will find energy and renewal? Will the fatigue go away if you see the frustration as a sign to stop? Yes, but eventually with the subsiding of fatigue will come the onslaught of regret. There are two pains: discipline and regret. And if you give in to the pain of discipline, you will experience the more severe pain of regret.

Job said, "The bow was renewed in my hands." In other words, he experienced renewal as he was going; in the middle of the pursuit, keep working the cut. I have had hockey players tell me they could not go out for the next shift and then someone scored and they were jumping onto the ice. I said, "I thought you were tired." They replied, "I thought I was." I have heard boxers say they could not go out for another round, and then they did, landed one punch and started boxing like a wild man. I said later, "I thought you were tired." They said, "I thought I was, too."

Do you feel tired building your dream, parenting a child, overcoming an illness? I got the answer: survive all assaults and work the cut. Do not let your emotions convince you life will be better if you stop. Emotions lie. Winning requires discipline that you can fight weary and expect energy to show up, the Calvary is on the way. Or said differently, if you keep on doing what you do, without judgment and without anticipating as you go and if you have a philosophy that physical and mental fatigue is a sign that you are getting close, not a sign that you are not making progress, then you will mount up with wings as eagles; you shall run and not be weary; you shall walk and not faint.

 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

When I am weak, then I am strong

Y'all, I am struggling today. I feel like I am straight up being attacked. I don't know much about spiritual warfare but I can't help but think that is what is going on.

Ephesians 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

According to the above verse spiritual warfare is real. Not only is it real but it's alive and well. But, I'm clinging to God's promises. I'm looking back on all the prayers that have been answered and answered recently. Not all prayers are answered in the way I want but the Lord hears me. He hears my cries for help and I know He will not let me down. The enemy will not get the best of me. Fear and doubt do not belong in my heart.

In the midst of my coming apart this verse came to mind, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

When I am weak Jesus gives me the strength I need to be strong. Strength, comfort and peace that can only come from Him. I am thankful and hopeful. Never give up.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Chocolate!!!

My name is Sheila and I'm a food addict. I honestly can't get past thinking about donuts and chocolate long enough to sound half way intelligent. Your IQ is probably going down right now....

I did have to write down things I ate growing up for a study I'm doing. Boy that took me back. Being raised with 4 siblings by a single Dad it could have been worse. We ate a lot of Hamburger Helper, taco salad, roast and spaghetti. Every once in a while I will get taste for Hamburger Helper and a little Debbie cake. Not together though. It's funny though that little Debbie cakes aren't as good as I remember them being back in the day. My favorite was a Fudge Round!

Well this isn't helping my food addiction so Im going to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will bring something useful or at the least, funny :)

Monday, January 23, 2012

I love you, I just don't like you right now.

I am happy to report that I have a better attitude today:) I apologized to my sweet family and they accepted the apology. Poor Denson knows when to steer clear and just let me be. Bless him! Our families usually get the brunt of our ugliness. Times like that I understand how it's possible to not like someone but still love them.

I've been doing a study on David for about a month and over the weekend started one on James. James is way more intense and will need more time. I should probably take a break from David but I'm so into his story that I don't want to. What to do, what to do!

Either way I'll continue to write what I learn. Tonight I'm learning that I have A LOT to learn. We have to step out of our comfort zones when God is calling us to do something regardless of how awkward it is. It's always worth it!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

If you can't say something nice.....

I have been in a super foul mood today. My family is probably ready to trade me in.

After reading negative posts on Facebook last week I decided I don't want to be one of "those" people so.......i will stick to the saying "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all".

See you tomorrow with a better attitude!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Almost speechless

The writers block is gone for tonight and I may end up boring you to death. This morning me and a wonderful group of ladies started Beth Moore's study on James: Mercy Triumphs. It was AMAZING!

I have so much to say that I may not make sense. I will give it my best shot but will say if you ever the opportunity to do this study, for the love, do it. You won't regret it I promise.

We start off by being introduced to James, Jesus' half brother and probably the first born natural child of Mary and Joseph. We learn that James and his siblings kinda poked fun at Jesus and didn't believe him to be the Messiah. But, James doesn't remain an unbeliever.

We go back to when Jesus was resurrected. The first point was this:

1. Jesus appeared to those who needed to see Him most.

Can anyone relate to that? I know I can. Jesus revealed himself to me when I needed it most. A lot of stubborn folks (like me) have to hit rock bottom before they start looking for Him. And He will not disappoint.

He also showed himself to Mary Magdalene. He had cleansed her of 7 demons previously. She was the only one at the tomb when Jesus arose. She was very upset. Beth made the point that maybe she wanted to be the last place she saw Him. Maybe she was thinking about what He saved her from and thinking her identity was based on that. He knew she needed to see Him. The other person was Paul and at the time he was persecuting Christians. He needed to see Jesus to have a life transformation. And lastly he appeared to James.

Not much is said. Just that He appeared to him. Beth adds that the details aren't given because it's probably none of our business. It was a personal conversation much like when we encounter Him. It is about a personal Savior not a public figure.

She went into great discussion on family which really hit home for me. There is no way I can articulate that part of the study. Very powerful stuff. I will leave you with this, the last point:

The power of the resurrection means that nothing but the tomb is meant to be empty.

Looking forward to the next 7 weeks as hard as they may be.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Revenge and a RD short story.

Boy, David had a great chance at revenge with Saul. David was hiding in a cave and Saul decided to relieve himself unknowingly right where David was. He could have killed him at that time and didn't. But he did cut the end of his robe. After Saul walks away, David calls out to him basically saying - why are you trying to kill me, I don't understand, I could have just killed you, look I have a piece of your robe.

Im sure that scared Saul. If anyone deserved to die it was him. David's men were probably shocked that he spared him. There were several great points that i will share below.

David's standard for measuring sin was not the wickedness of Saul, but the holiness of God.

As we draw nearer to God, our sensitivity to conviction and our discernment of wrongdoing will increase. If we are filled by His Spirit, conviction will be met with a change in behavior.

A moment's revenge is not worth the cost of alienation from God,not even the revenge we've been waiting for and feel so justified to seize!

Now moving on to a quick Reese story. Today he talked about building a dirt bike track. As usual he went into great detail. He ended with saying everyone will be number 5 so everyone would win. That boy can be sweet at times. I have no clue who he gets his personality from but I sure do love it!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I'm having another night of not knowing what to write. Reese can't save me tonight because he is already in bed. Thank goodness, he has been WILD tonight. I am so tired but I cannot go to bed until I can sit by myself and watch tv for a minute. Time.alone.I.need.it!

I really need the sleep though, i haven't slept well in almost a week. My mind just won't stop. I hate it when that happens. And apparently my mind has now stopped because I'm rambling about nothing.

I will just go ahead and stop now but I do have a praise. We had a huge answer to prayer this week. I know when the Lord is at work (and He is) the enemy is also at work. I need to see that and know my battle isn't against flesh and blood.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Writers Block

Let me tell what just happened to me! I was literally just sitting here wondering what I was going to write and thinking about how much I just wanted to go to bed...when little Reese comes up to me with a kids Bible and says "is this really possible?". He handed me the book and it was turned to no other than David and Goliath.

In case you've not read the last few weeks, my daily study has been on David, which brings the well known story of his fight with a giant.

So, I tell Reese that of course that is possible and he proceeds to tell me the story in great detail. Can you say proud momma? That made my night and then he comes at me with this:

"Momma, I went in my room and I saw the Jesus Book and knew I just needed to study. That is the right thing to do. Its not good when you make bad decisions. God doesn't like it when you get spankings.". He sat at the table with his Jesus book and his "journal" and drew pictures of David and Goliath. He said no one could touch his books because they were very important.

Sometimes the best lessons come out of the mouth of babes.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I just don't understand

I have almost gotten to where I can't watch the news on a daily basis. There are some really bad people in this world that do horrible things to others. How can someone be so evil?

It seems that things are getting worse but then I read about Saul being so jealous of David that he wants to kill him. When he finds out that certain men helped and prayed for David he had them bring their families to him. He questioned their actions and had them ALL killed. That is awful! It also said that Saul "grew strong" by destroying others. Again, just awful.

But we probably know at least one person that loves to stir up trouble at the expense of others. I have learned that people like that or people that pick on people not capable of taking up for themselves are super insecure. They feel better about themselves by bringing others down.

But, sometimes bad situations and tragedies bring us closer to God or bring us to Him period. That is for sure how I came to know Him. We live in a fallen world but He is our hope. God will repay evil. I can't imagine the warfare that goes on in the spiritual realm but I trust that all things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Loss for words

Do you ever find yourself really wanting and needing to cry out to God but you can't find the words to pray? A couple of years ago I had a dream that was so sad that I woke up crying. Well sobbing might be a better word. I dreamed a family member had died and it seemed so real! It was early in the morning so no one was up so I went downstairs to pray. Except that I had no words. I mean, I kinda knew what I wanted to say but felt like my words were inadequate. I know God knew my heart and heard me crying out, I know that without a doubt.

My study today reminded me that there isn't a certain way to pray, or big Christian words that you have to use. I know I've complained to God, been angry with Him and I need to be able to just talk to Him. Be real. Be myself.

David's prayer in Psalm 142: 1-7
With my voice I cry out to the Lord;

with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.

I pour out my complaint before him;

I tell my trouble before him.

When my spirit faints within me,

you know my way!

In the path where I walk

they have hidden a trap for me.

Look to the right and see:

there is none who takes notice of me;

no refuge remains to me;

no one cares for my soul.

I cry to you, O Lord;

I say, "You are my refuge,

my portion in the land of the living."

Attend to my cry,

for I am brought very low!

Deliver me from my persecutors,

for they are too strong for me!

Bring me out of prison,

that I may give thanks to your name!

The righteous will surround me,

for you will deal bountifully with me. (Psalm 142:1-7 ESV)

I can almost feel the desperation. I know I reference a lot of songs on here but these lyrics came to mind: I'm finding myself at a loss for words and the funny thing is, it's ok. The last thing I need is to be heard but to hear what you would say.

Sometimes just sitting in silence can do wonders for the soul. So, whether you need to let it all out or you are at a loss for words....it's ok.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Wonderful day at NVC

Denson and I had a great conversation yesterday. He went hunting Friday and had lots of time to pray and think. The funny thing is....both of us came away from our time with God feeling the exact same about our situation. We have been struggling in this economy and if I think about it, the fact that we are "struggling" means we are still in business. We have been blessed over and over. We are both Ok with however things turn out. Not that God needs us to be ok, besides he knows how this story will end.

As God is working in us the enemy Is working also. As we go into church, anxiety and worry start to creep back in. No, I will not listen to the lies I tell my myself. We are in the house of the Lord! Everything about the service spoke to me. The music and the sermon.

I absolutely love the song, "Lead Me to the Cross". The lyrics:
Lead me the cross where your love poured out
Bring me to my knees Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself I belong to you
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross.[Chorus (x2)]

Another song, God is Able:
Lifted up
He defeated the grave
Raised to life
Our God is able
In His name
We overcome
For the Lord
Our God is able

Then we go to the sermon. One of the points was: Be aware! A lie can sound like the truth. In Luke, when Jesus was in the wilderness,Satan tempted him. He even spoke scripture to him. The enemy knows the bible better than we do.

Second point was: Be real! Faith must be committed to practice.
You know, I hear a lot of people say they don't want to become a Christ follower because there are too many rules to follow. I used to think
that myself. I didn't want to give up my sin. I knew some of the things i did were wrong but it didn't matter. However, when I let Christ in it
wasn't about rules. It was about Jesus. It was about Him making me new. He took the desire away for the old habits. Your life changes
and you WANT to be better.

When you feel close to God and things seem to be going right, watch out and stand firm in your faith.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

I have a new line for the kids

I don't have any big revelations from today's study but I did come away from with a laugh and something new to say to the kids. On David's plight to get away from Saul he went to Achish king of Gath. Achish recognized him and David was afraid he had been found out. To save himself he started acting like a madman, making marks on the doors of the gate and letting saliva run down his beard. That is hilarious to me!!

What is more funny is that Achish asked his servants "Am I so short of madmen that you have to bring this fellow here to carry on like this in front of me?".

Oh my, I feel like I live with someone that acts just like this, except for maybe the saliva dripping down his face. I even have several walls in my house that have been marked on. So, the next Reese acts like an animal and Bailey comes to tell on him, I will totally use this line. Can't wait to see their faces!

Friday, January 13, 2012

God Reminders

I feel like I've been reminded a lot lately of God's promises. I remember when I was first saved. I read the bible and prayed like crazy. I felt like God was with me all the time. Then I got complacent and life continued to get more hectic. I felt so far away from Him. I was very discouraged and just lonely. The reminders of the pit of depression he pulled me from, the people he placed in my life, the timing of so many things.....all reminders that he has never left me.

This morning I listened to a sermon by Charles Stanley about faith. Some of the scriptures were familiar stories that I needed to hear. The centurion and his servant and the women who had bleeding issues. Yes, that is some faith!

Love, love, love when I spend the morning in quiet and come away refreshed. After hearing the sermon, my morning study was on the same thing. It talked about David being on the run. He went to Nob and specifically to the priest Ahimelech. He asked for 5 loaves of bread. There was no bread to be found except for the bread of the Presence. Leviticus 24:5-9 says "This bread is to be set out before the lord regularly, Sabbath after Sabbath, on behalf of the Israelites, as a lasting covenant.".

I wonder if this reminded David of God's covenant with Him? Or did he remember all the things the Lord had saved him from at that moment maybe giving him strength to continue? The last possible reminder was this. He asked for a weapon since he left with nothing. The only weapon around was a sword that had belonged to GOLIATH! The giant he killed with a sling shot.

I can almost hear him say "Ok,Lord I hear you, we got this.". Keep your focus where with your faith is.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Glad Saul was not my dad.

So it looks like dysfunctional families have always existed. And God did and continues to use jacked up people. Thank goodness!

Today I came to the part of the story where David has fled, afraid for his life. His best friend Jonathan comes to him and David is all, "What did I do to deserve to be killed?". Jonathan is in shock. He proceeds to tell him how his dad doesn't and wouldn't do anything without telling him.

This puts both of them in a really awkward position. David having to tell his best friend his dad is trying to kill him AND he apparently is not who you thought he was. Then Jonathan wanting to protect his best friend from his own father. One of them was in the wrong and he would have to choose a side.

They were true best friends. Even though they had a heated exchange it didn't change their friendship. That is what true friends do. I am going to list 3 evidences of a true friendship ( this probably goes without saying.....brought to you by Beth Moore).

1. Friends can speak their minds without fear.
2. Friends can share their hearts without shame.
3. Friends can stay close even at a distance.

If you are like me you are nodding your head yes right now. I may have already said this before but those true friendships are priceless!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I'm tired!

The title has nothing to do with this post, just that I am, tired.

So Saul was really jealous of David. Jealousy can send you in a downward spiral of anger and bitterness real quick. Saul was angry and decided to have David killed. Luckily his wife was aware of this plan and told him he needed to leave. And he did.

One of the sad parts of the story is that David's wife was Saul's daughter. Saul thought that his daughter would be a snare to David. But he was wrong because she loved David. Could you imagine your Dad arranging for you to marry a guy hoping that you will not be a good wife and end up having him killed?? Terrible.

But you know love can conquer a lot. Love can change a person. When you accept the love of Christ, you become a new person. You want to love others too. And, God loved the world so much that He gave His only son to save us. That is powerful!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Jealousy

Jealousy is usually not looked upon in a good light. Especially when it comes to Saul. He was very jealous of David. And really when you think about it, it was probably hard not to be. Everything David did, he was really good at. The people sang his praises and don't you know that got to Saul? I mean, we all probably know a "David". And we've been jealous at some point. Not good.

Now the next kind of jealousy really confuses me. God being jealous for us. Beth Moore says this - He is jealous on our behalf, jealous for us to know Him, to be kept from evil, to be ready for our Bridegroom. I also googled it and most everyone said God is jealous when we put anything before him. I'm not sure that both mean the same thing? I also think of the song "How He Loves" and the first line says "He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, bending beneath the weight of his love and mercy.".

So, I need to figure that out.

Switching gears. Bailey is such a strong girl. She is not emotional at all. Very unlike me, but I really admire that quality. She loves to read and she started a new book today. I can't recall now what the book was about but it took place in a time where racism was prevalent. She told me about how one of the characters was racist and it made her want to cry. I am so glad she has compassion and knows how wrong racism is. Anything that makes her want to cry - I know it has touched her heart. Love my Bailey!

Reese on the other hand is emotional just like me! Bless him! The last few days he has been into words that rhyme and words that start with the same letter. Today he says "Hey Momma, private part and proactive start with the same letters!". He was so proud of himself. Can't wait to find out who else he shares that nugget of information with!

Monday, January 9, 2012

National Championship

I almost missed posting today. I have some great news.......Alabama won the BCS National Championship! Not only did we win but we shut LSU out AND they only made it past the 50 yd line once. Great, great game! Roll Tide!!!!!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

I've got nothing for a title today, sorry.

Church was great today as usual. The sermon reminded me of the time in my life that I realized I NEEDED a Savior. Best decision I ever made. It also reminded me of the state of misery I once lived in. I never want to go back to the life I used to live. Ever.

Pastor Chris also talked about how the church isn't about one man, the deacons or a committee. The church is about Jesus Christ. It isn't about the pastor or the entertainment value. We shouldn't say, oh I had a good time at church, we should be more concerned about hearing from God and what He is teaching us.

After hearing a great message we get home and I really think this was the hardest parenting day ever! I don't know what happened or what Reese ate but he was in RARE form. He was really whiny and angry. He pitched a fit for an hour over not being able to play a video game. I tried talking to him calmly and nothing worked. Denson took over and finally calmed him down.

You want to know what my bible study was about today? Anger. Yep, anger. God is just good like that. Maybe God was showing me how I act sometimes, like a 4 yr old. I have gotten really good at justifying my anger.

Lord, I hear you. Thank you for loving me. Even the ugly.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Saturday!

I wish I had lots of good stories of all the fun we've had today but as the old folks say, I'm down in my back. I also wished that came with a good story like how I went to the gym and worked so hard I pulled a muscle. Unfortunately I apparently sneezed the wrong way and pulled something. But after some rest I know it will be better soon. I hope.

Luckily the day was somewhat relaxing. Denson took Reese hunting for the first time. Something tells me that hunting may not be Reese's thing. The fact that he cries whenever a hunting show is on is not a good sign. Before leaving he told me that if he found a baby deer that wasn't rambunctious he would bring it home for a pet. Shockingly they didn't see any wildlife and was only in the deer stand for about 30 minutes.

Bailey and I laid around for most of the day which was great considering she just had a concussion and a cold. We did manage to take a trip to Walmart and I was reminded why I don't go to the one in Leeds anymore. A video for the song " We are the people of Walmart" could have been filmed there, no question. There are no words to describe what we saw.

My Beth Moore study today was about Jonathan and David's almost instant friendship. I love it when God puts people in our lives that are forever friends. I am grateful for my friend Kona B that I don't get to see nearly enough.

Looking forward to tomorrow and feeling better.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Wonderful reminder and a Reese funny

I'm having a hard time deciding which one to start with....... I'll start with Reese. He absolutely loves Billy the Exterminator, Swamp People, Swamp Loggers etc. He never forgets anything so I don't know why the conversation we had this morning surprised me. It went like this: Reese: Momma, what is this green stuff? Me: What green stuff? Reese: I think it's snake peces. Me: What???? Reese: You know snake poop. Never short a laugh around here.

Today I got into the meat of the David and Goliath story. When Saul sent for David and was convinced that this boy was the man for the job he gave him his armor to wear to battle. But it was too big for him and he took it off. One of the questions in my study was: what pieces of armor do you still find yourself reaching for, not quite sure that God's Word and His promises are enough to depend on? At times I still try to figure things out and not rely on God. Second question was: What makes these extras and add ons so heavy after awhile? When I carry burdens not meant for me to carry, it gets heavy real fast.

Here are the points that really spoke to me. These are from Beth Moore's study on David:
We should measure the size of our obstacles against the size of our God.

We tend to measure our obstacles against our own strength. We often feel overwhelmed and defeated before the battle begins.

We need to acknowledge an active and living God in our lives.

We're often intimidated in battle because we are uncertain of our faith. But we must remember we dont stand in victory because of our faith. We stand in victory because of our God. Faith in faith is pointless, but faith in a living, active God moves mountains.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

And here we go.....

Days like today are the reason I made a commitment to blog daily. I am realizing that I have to be intentional with spending time with God. I can no longer say "I'm tired, I'll read extra tomorrow." or "I've had a long day, I deserve to watch a little tv.". I have been tempted to do that today.

All 4 of us are battling chest colds and I'm trying to keep us medicated so we don't end up going to the doctor. However, after 2 bottles of cough syrup and another 40 bucks spent at CVS, I'm thinking we may be better off just to go. Oh, and then Bailey probably has a concussion. She fell and hit the back of her head. After consulting with nurse Misty and the pediatrician i knew what to look for and will be waking her every four hours for two nights. And this is when I stop before I go on a rant that could last for hours....

Today's study was on the beginning of the story about David and Goliath. Now that is a story known by many. But I learned something new. I learned that David's brother Eliab was not very nice to him. But that did not stop David. Your family can either really encourage you or do the opposite

David remained undaunted by Eliab's criticisms for one reason: David took God's Word over the opinion of others. - Beth Moore

Aim to please God and not man.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Day 3

Today we back tracked to 1Samuel 14:1-14. Jonathan, Saul's son, decided to go over to the Philistine side. Keep in mind the Phillistines are the enemy. Only Jonathan and the man bearing his armor went and no one knew they were going. Everyone else was literally hiding.

Verse 6 says- Jonathan said to his young armor bearer " Come, let's go over to the outpost of those circumcised fellows. Perhaps the Lord will act on our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few".

It turns out the Lord did save them. I liked how Jonathan knew the Lord could save them, that He could do anything. He just wasn't sure that God would choose to do so. Either way he knew God was sovereign and if he didn't help them it wasn't because he couldn't.

I think it's important for us to be able to accept God's will before we even know what it is. Sometimes his will is the complete opposite of what we want but he is sovereign. We have no idea what he could really be saving us from or how a negative circumstance could be used to make us more like Christ.

I will leave you with this- Romans 8:28-30 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For this God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to his likeness of his son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Day 2

I'm started to figure out I can learn a lot from Saul, or maybe how not to do things. So far though I've realized there are more similarities than I care to admit. Todays lesson was from 1Samuel 15:12-29. God told Saul to destroy the Amalekites. Everything including the livestock. But he chose to keep the best livestock to sacrifice to God. To me it's like your child stealing something from a store but telling you they really thought you would like the gift despite breaking the law and stealing.

Samuel already knew what Saul had done. He confronted him but Saul tried to justify his actions. He Said he obeyed God and kept what he did for the Lord. This is another example of being self centered. That is just like something I would do. God, I know you said to do this but I thought it would work better for me to do something else instead.

So Saul was rejected as King for being disobedient. All he had to do was exactly what God said and he didn't. Again he tried to blame the people saying he was afraid of them and gave in to what they wanted. Compromising will not get you where you want to be. Anytime you choose to please people instead of God it will not have a happy ending.

Ive learned that lesson the hard way one too many times. I am extremely grateful for God's grace when I think about how He has never given up on me. He loves us even in our sin but loves us even more to not let us remain comfortable in it. Thank you Lord!

Monday, January 2, 2012

2012

I am making a commitment for 2012 to blog every.single.day. That is going to be tough since the last post was nearly nine months ago! I want to share things God is teaching and showing me daily. I feel like blogging will hold me accountable to be more consistent in my time with the Lord. 2011 was not a good year of me putting God first on a daily basis.

I have just completed day 13 of a new bible study and I have already learned some new things. Things that have not felt so good to learn about myself. Day 11 was titled, "self centeredness in disguise". It talked about Samuel finding a new leader, Saul. Saul was like, what do you want with me, I'm from the smallest clan in Israel? Then when Samuel summoned the people of Israel to introduce them to their King, Saul, he could not be found. The last part of 1Samuel 10:22 says "And the Lord said, "Yes, he has hidden himself among the baggage.". I think alot of times we don't allow ourselves to be used by God because we are hiding in our baggage. We think that God could never use us because of where we've come from, things we've done before we became a new person in Christ. Really, even things we've done after becoming new. See we/I like to hold on to the old sometimes. We hear that little voice saying I can't believe you call yourself a Christian, you need to just lay low before you are found out. But that is the enemy and only the enemy keeping you from being what you could be if you allow God to work in and through you.

So, what does that have to do with being self centered? He started off thinking he was not worthy because of the family he came from. He was either experiencing godly humility or low self esteem.

A person with godly humility looks to the master. He or she neither exalts nor denigrates self, because to do either is to make self the center of our universe. When we're really serving Christ, our reputations and abilities simply cease to be so important. - Beth Moore

In reading that I learned that I have been self centered a lot. It's not about me, it's about God and doing what He wants. I tend to worry about what others think too much. That is being self centered and I never knew it.

The other thing that stood out to me was the following lesson on people pleasers. Now I knew this would be something I needed to read because I have always been a people pleaser. When Saul finally came out of hiding and was presented most of the people were shouting for joy but a few people publicly insulted him. And you know what he did? NOTHING. He probably wanted everyone to like him. People pleasers have difficulty in standing up for what's right. They don't want to make people mad and again, worry about what others think. When we act that way we prioritize self over God.

I am excited and maybe a liitle scared of the rest of this study but I am committed! Here's to sharing my life and life lessons in 2012 :)