2012

I am making a commitment for 2012 to blog every.single.day. That is going to be tough since the last post was nearly nine months ago! I want to share things God is teaching and showing me daily. I feel like blogging will hold me accountable to be more consistent in my time with the Lord. 2011 was not a good year of me putting God first on a daily basis.

I have just completed day 13 of a new bible study and I have already learned some new things. Things that have not felt so good to learn about myself. Day 11 was titled, "self centeredness in disguise". It talked about Samuel finding a new leader, Saul. Saul was like, what do you want with me, I'm from the smallest clan in Israel? Then when Samuel summoned the people of Israel to introduce them to their King, Saul, he could not be found. The last part of 1Samuel 10:22 says "And the Lord said, "Yes, he has hidden himself among the baggage.". I think alot of times we don't allow ourselves to be used by God because we are hiding in our baggage. We think that God could never use us because of where we've come from, things we've done before we became a new person in Christ. Really, even things we've done after becoming new. See we/I like to hold on to the old sometimes. We hear that little voice saying I can't believe you call yourself a Christian, you need to just lay low before you are found out. But that is the enemy and only the enemy keeping you from being what you could be if you allow God to work in and through you.

So, what does that have to do with being self centered? He started off thinking he was not worthy because of the family he came from. He was either experiencing godly humility or low self esteem.

A person with godly humility looks to the master. He or she neither exalts nor denigrates self, because to do either is to make self the center of our universe. When we're really serving Christ, our reputations and abilities simply cease to be so important. - Beth Moore

In reading that I learned that I have been self centered a lot. It's not about me, it's about God and doing what He wants. I tend to worry about what others think too much. That is being self centered and I never knew it.

The other thing that stood out to me was the following lesson on people pleasers. Now I knew this would be something I needed to read because I have always been a people pleaser. When Saul finally came out of hiding and was presented most of the people were shouting for joy but a few people publicly insulted him. And you know what he did? NOTHING. He probably wanted everyone to like him. People pleasers have difficulty in standing up for what's right. They don't want to make people mad and again, worry about what others think. When we act that way we prioritize self over God.

I am excited and maybe a liitle scared of the rest of this study but I am committed! Here's to sharing my life and life lessons in 2012 :)