December 10, 2004

I just had a God moment and thought I would share. I was on the computer looking at the weather, and I starting thinking about Steven Spears. Steven was my step-dads nephew. I looked at the calendar and realized today was the 4 yr anniversary of his death. On December 10th, four years ago, many lives were changed forever. Steven was shot while driving he and his wife home from a birthday party.

I will never forget the moment I heard the news. We were actually at my sister Karen's house and had spent the night. As I was getting up she told me the news. I was shocked to say the least. My heart ached for his wife, mom, brothers and of course my step-dad. I remember going to the viewing and seeing a line around the church and out the door. I remember getting out of the car wondering how I would handle this, and actually feeling a sense of peace. That was odd to me because at that time Jesus was not my Lord and Savior. That was just the beginning of my journey.

A few days later, I was at work sitting at my desk, asking myself "Does God really exist? Is heaven real?" At that moment I felt an overwhelming urge to pray, which I did. Again, I was not a Christian so praying was not my thing. About an hour later God answered my prayer!! A co-worker, which I had not been friends with approached me and another girl. She started telling us about her Dad passing away about a month earlier. She told us about his visions of heaven. That was awesome, but the eye opener was, the things he saw were EXACTLY like a vision my PaPa had before he died. I fought back the tears and knew God was telling me "I am real, there is a place called Heaven and you better get on board!" My life as I knew it was changed forever.

I remember going home so excited to tell my husband about my experience. He wasn't much interested, because we had not been getting along and I don't blame him. However, a week later he says to me "Your serious aren't you, you've really changed." Thank God he was on board with me and we started attending church as a family. I could not get enough of reading the Bible!

Bailey was 3 at the time and had not been raised in church. Not too long after my life changing event, I felt an overwhelming urge to email my step-day because I knew he was still having a hard time. The whole time I was emailing him the tears were flowing!! Bailey came into the room and asked me what was wrong. I told her nothing, I was ok. She said "Are you talking about Jesus?" I started crying even more and told her yes, yes I was. How did she know who Jesus was? I was amazed at her and still today, she amazes me with the spiritual things she says.

I said all of that to say this......This day will always be a reminder that Steven is in heaven and missed by many. But I can also say that this is a great reminder of how God saved me! God is always trying to get our attention, we just have to listen. Sometimes we have to be at a low in order to hear him. God doesn't want any of his children to die an eternal death. Thank God for his grace, love AND for eternal life! I needed a reminder today of what He's done for me. Thank you Lord!!